I've only got a few minutes to write tonight. School starts tomorrow and my crazy OCD has started kicking in at full speed. I need to get all the laundry done, drawers cleaned out, backpacks ready, lunches prepared. UGH!!! Where did the summer go? Oh, yeah, I remember.....
Today as we attended our school's Open House I excitedly watched Ella enter her 3rd grade classroom, meeting her new teacher with eagerness. And then I took Lucy back to her Kindergarten classroom and watched her enter quite tentatively and proceeded to cry my eyes out. Some of the moms might have thought I was sad to see my baby go to Kindergarten, but those that know me well understood why I cried. Sometimes the reminders of this horrible event in our life seem to haunt me in the worst way. We will get through this. Both of us. All of us. Time heals all wounds, right?
I want to say thank you to everyone who left me birthday comments, Facebook messages, emails and texts. It meant the world to me, although I will never be able to respond to each one. Jack was really sick last week and Friday wasn't much better. We had fun plans with some friends Friday night and I just knew we would have to cancel. Even at 4:00, when Erik and I are desperately trying to treat the nasty diaper rash Jack had I had resigned to spending my birthday evening at home. Thankfully, Jack perked up and we were able to spend some time away with these great friends, plus Rebecca (and their husbands.)
I am excited about this crazy week. It represents such a "normal" routine and a life that I miss so much. I have spent a lot of time begging and pleading with God recently to allow our family to start living again. We are ready for it. I have missed that part of our life so much. God continues to bless our family. Through the good and the bad, we are so very fortunate. Honestly, I do my fair share of whining but I really am very aware of the blessings in my life.
If you are in need of some great inspiration tonight, I urge you to read about Oscar Pistorius. I just watched this paraplegic compete against able bodied men in the Olympic semi-finals. I walked away from the TV with tears streaming (seems to be a trend today), wondering how many times his mother and father questioned God. How many nights did his mother lay in bed and think about lost hopes and dreams shattered? How many times did her son face the taunts of other children or the stares from children and adults alike? I marvel at the man he is. The fierce determination that drives him to beat the odds?
Then I think about my Lucy. How hard it must have been for her to realize today that her friends weren't in her class. I wonder how often she is faced with the realization that she is "different" and not as able as her peers. And just when I allow myself to fall apart from these images that haunt my mind, I see her running as fast as her unsteady legs will allow to try to play basketball with Hyatt. Tonight I watched in amazement as she put her frustrations with school aside and insisted to the other kids that she could play paddle ball just as well as they could. She made me proud. She made me embarrassed that I ever doubt her.
Come on life. Bring it on. Lucy's ready to fight. She's ready to prove what's she's made of. God made this girl special. She's one of a kind and was no doubt put here on this earth to teach us all many lessons. She is my hero.
"You're not disabled by the disabilities you have, you are able by the abilities you have." Oscar Pistorius