I am not writing for sympathy for Lucy. I am writing to remember how I feel at this very moment.
We are waiting to be seen by the doctor to review Lucy's lab work. A little boy asked her to play and they sat down at the table to work with a puzzle. He started asking about the bump on her head (her shunt) and she didn't know what to say. I told him that it was part of the medicine that was helping Lucy get rid of her cancer. As he kept asking questions, Lucy was growing more and more embarrassed. He apparently didn't think she was cool anymore so he got up and left and started playing with someone else. She laid her head down on the table and was so sad.
So...this is the point where the rational 34 year old almost became totally overcome by the mother in me. I wanted to go over and make that little boy hurt as bad as he just hurt my baby girl. I know that is absolutely irrational and I would NEVER do that, but oh my gosh. My heart is broken in two right now. He is only 6 and I know he just doesn't know any better. Lucy has moved on but I haven't. Right now he is running around the room with 2 other kids (who can also run) while my baby is just sitting and watching. Because she can't run. Some days she can hardly walk across the room.
I hate this for her. I HATE THIS FOR HER!!!!!!!